If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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