When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
