HIV tests are more positive than that guy
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Two words: blizzard sex
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
