At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
