Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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