Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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