They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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