I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
