I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
