im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
