my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
