oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
