I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
