please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize