btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
