I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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