I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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