so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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