this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
