You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
