I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
