What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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