Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
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My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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