the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You pole danced in your parka.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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