They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
