God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
