I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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