I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
