Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
