i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I spit up blood this morning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"