Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
