i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
