You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
