Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize