i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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