C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
