please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
