That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
