You can't motorboat a personality
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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