And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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