I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
