I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
