I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
