Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You're a waste of cheezeits
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
