We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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