Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
