I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
