for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
