i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
