I molested 6 butterflies tonight
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
