Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
