im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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