Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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