Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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