Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
this will be a night to untag.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
