nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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