What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
