You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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